INCOMPETENT PEOPLE ANNOY ME.

“BD has come to the conclusion that AFL is one of the most lamest sports in the world ! , After watching plenty of games i still cant see where the skill is in the sport. You run with a ball and people try to tackle ya ! , a goal is usually scored every 2-3 minutes and for some strange reason, you get 6 points ? why ! You’…d think a behind 1 point and a goal 2 points ! I now know why we are the only country to play it !”

He then followed it up with the following remarks:

Third party comment: “and when u kick the ball it hits the ground and bounces back in the opposite direction :s why not just have a round ball?”

BD: “agreed **** ! none of the sport make sense to me !”

Third party comment: “me either, and they all look like fags in there short shorts”

BD: “**** , a round ball would make too much sense ! let them be.. im sure one day they will figure it out ! AFL is just a bunch of greased up men running threw creape paper …and trying to grab hold of eachother hmm sounds pretty gay to me”

Many other responses containing ignorant opinions were added, until this gem was posted by another third party: “Soccer, or football, is a far inferior sport to Australian Rules Football. The skills required to play AFL far outway the skills required to play Soccer. Not only does the game use a round ball but the pitch is smaller, the length of the game is shorter and it is a non contact sport. Yes, a lot of people love Soccer, but if you seriously want to talk about skills and athleticism then you can not even compare the two. AFL players run in excess of 20km per game, sprinting for long periods of that. They also have to have the strength to tackle like rugby players. Then there is the task of kicking and handpassing an oval shaped ball to players that are over 50m away, and hitting them on the chest in the process. I’d like to see any Soccer player keep up with an AFL player and then do what they can with the ball. A sport that uses a round ball and requires more skill than Soccer is Gaelic Football. Come on guys, there is nothing a Soccer player could do that an AFL player or Gaelic player couldn’t. I’m sorry but your argument is so flawed”

BD: “*****, i agree with you to some extent about the strength of a player and applaud you for sticking up for the sport in which you follow and like, instead of telling me to f-off like others would. Although strength is not really a necessity in soccer, their is no need to have big muscles or handball an oval shaped ball 50mtrs in soccer, therefore i don’t think this is, in my opinion a ” fair comparison ” although you have answered the question about skill involved in AFL ! I have no skill in AFL and i can still kick a football 50 or so meters, so the skill that’s required isn’t really that great !
Soccer or football is to me indeed way more skillful which is why goals are scored less , lines of defense are broken down in order to have a shot at goal, which is guarded by a very trained goal keeper ! Trying to breakdown a line of defense and score a goal with the “offside” rule is very hard ! and teams have to be trained and work together a lot more that just running with the ball and having a shot at goal like a see so much in AFL.
As far as the time of the game .. well the players endurance in soccer is 2 x 45mins rather than 4×20mins an AFL players get !
This is not about who is the fittest player or how strong they are in order to tackle down players because soccer is a non-contact sport !
Sorry dude i don’t think my argument is flawed but its just a matter of choice !”

Then I chucked in my 2 cents. My response is below:

“Hey BD, you’ve got my sports brain thinking, and I’m sick at home coughing up snot on a Saturday night, so here’s an essay for you! I have played both Soccer and Aussie Rules Football at competitive levels and can summarise my thoughts in what’s below…

Each sport requires unique skills. The skills are based on the objective that needs to be achieved. A Cricketer requires lightning fast reflexes to take a catch, compared to a Tennis player who requires exceptional agility to run from the baseline, to the net, and then back again whilst ensuring their shot passes over the net and lands within the boundaries of the court.

BD, you pretty much contradicted yourself by questioning the skill involved in Aussie Rules and then agreeing with Alex that an oval ball doesn’t bounce consistently. If this is indeed the case then surely you’d need better foot skills for a ball that behaves inconsistently? Or am I reading into this too much?

As for your Aussie Rules skills… there are elite AFL players who struggle to kick the ball 50 metres. So if you’re able to accurately kick a 50 metre punt as you previously stated, then I want you playing on the wing at Carlton. The hand and foot skills required to accurately drop and then kick the ball with absolute precision are incomparable to any sport. The room for error is almost non-existent, much like a Golf swing. As for running flat out and bouncing the ball every 15 steps, this requires exceptional co-ordination and composure including an innate ability to withstand the effect that adrenaline places on these co-ordination and composure levels. These skills and abilities are comparable only to Gaelic Football, which is easier than Aussie Rules given the use of a round ball!

How can the frequency of goal scoring in Soccer make the game more skilful than Aussie Rules? The bottom line is that the 2 sports are incomparable in this regard. Soccer is primarily defensive while Aussie Rules is primarily offensive which explains the frequency of goal scoring. You did note that the games are incomparable in this regard so good on you.

As for the popularity of Aussie Rules, I’d be a surprised if a game that dates back to the reign of King Edward had less support than a sport that is around 170 years old. After all, Aussie Rules was only ever invented to maintain fitness levels of Cricketers during winter. Aussie Rules has cult appeal at this point in time, but is rapidly expanding into new areas of Australia, NZ, South Africa, Asia, USA, Polynesia to name just a few.

As for the image of Aussie Rules, I see more injuries in any level of the game (from C grade amateur local club right through to professional AFL) compared to Soccer. The intestinal and testicular fortitude (courage) of an Aussie Rules player is comparable only to Grid Iron and Rugby players… the tackling involved in all three sports is comparable, but Grid Iron and Rugby players wear padding, Aussie Rules players do not. The only other sportsmen I can think of who can brag higher levels of courage would be motor sportsmen and extreme sportsmen. Compare this to Soccer players who fake injury to slow a game down when playing a tough opposition.

The clothing worn by Aussie Rules players is nothing more than functional, allowing players to exert and utilise their bodies to full potential. A sleeveless Guernsey allows 360 degree movement of the arms from the shoulder joint, while small shorts allow a player to lift his knees in order to run like a sprinter. If the sight of bare triceps and quadriceps has ‘homosexual’ appeal, then I’d recommend the uncomfortable individual questions their sexual orientation. Not that there’s anything wrong with being homosexual. However, if you’re going to throw the term ‘homosexual’ around, I’d be directing the term at the prima donnas on a Soccer field who throw themselves on the floor and whine over a tackle that never happened… after all, it’s a non-contact sport, right? The only Aussie Rules player who does this is Hayden Ballantyne from the Fremantle Dockers. Credit should be granted to Fremantle who fined Ballantyne for acting with such petulance. Pretending to be injured or acting out an injury undermines integrity, you can’t dispute that.

The offside rule in Soccer is pathetically basic and it absolutely baffles me why the managers of these elite sporting clubs can’t get their offensive tactics setup correctly. It’s simple, stay behind the ball in your opponent’s half if you’re not out-manned. How does the implementation of this rule make Soccer more skilful than Aussie Rules? No skill, complications or machinations required, just a simple acknowledgement of and adherence to the rules of the game.

As for the time of the 2 games, you’re correct about Soccer (except you missed the typical 5-10 minutes of ‘injury’ time). As for Aussie rules, you forgot to include time-on which is added to the time of each quarter. Time-on is made up of the time taken to run the ball from the crowd behind the goals and back to the centre circle for the ball-up, a boundary throw-in, an injury, sending a player off for the blood rule, the time taken to award a 50-metre penalty or to reset play for a mark, free kick or behind, so a quarter ranges from 25 minutes up to 33 minutes. So on average a game of Aussie Rules will last over 120 minutes. If a game of Aussie Rules did only last 80 minutes it would mean that no goals or points were kicked, the ball never went out of bounds, there were no injuries, no players sent off for the blood rule, no 50 metre penalties or free kicks issued, and no marks taken. This is literally impossible, hence a quarter lasting between 25 to 33 minutes. Aussie Rules is much more draining than 2 x 45 minute halves of what is mainly a defensive game that requires what I estimate to be around 60% less aerobic activity.

At the end of the day, you’re bang on the money, it’s a matter of personal choice. To me, Aussie Rules has a level of passion and integrity unmatched by any other sporting code. Had I spent more time living in Dulwich, London as a supporter of the Crystal Palace Eagles, I’d probably be singing a different tune…”

Third Party response: “Gotta disagree with you on the Offside rule, Ando! It’s basics are pretty simple, but the intricacies of the rule get a little confusing. I think it’s also much more difficult to adhere to in practice than in theory. If you’re a striker and the ball is flicked your way, obviously you’re aiming for a clear shot on goal. To stay behind the defenders just when the ball is kick and then push through to get in front of the rest of the defense requires a great deal of tactical skill and precision timing especially when the other team is playing with an offside trap strategy.”

Me: “Hey ***, this is where the line blurs. To me, skill and tactics are separate pieces of the puzzle. A skill involves physical competence (such as ball handling) while a tactic involves adherence to a non-physical mental concept (such as promoting collaborative team ethics). However, adherence to a TACTIC requires leadership SKILLS and inherent attributes such as discipline… This is where the line blurs and the two entities merge, yet I believe they are still two separate entities.

A classic example of this is Jarrad Waite at Carlton. The man has sublime skills as an AFL player but his adherence to tactics is woeful. He disobeys basic team culture and is constantly sitting on the sidelines through suspension. You could apply this in the same fashion to a Soccer player who constantly brings the team down by being offside when goals are scored. Opposition tactics can be circumvented through the application of counter-tactics, no matter the intricacies. Am I making sense?”

What do YOU think? I’d like to hear your feedback.

I’m letting the stupidest, little things get to me.

I have always been the paranoid type… but this is beyond a joke.

Solution: Balance is always restored when I’m fit and looking after myself.

After 3 months of little or no exercise and binge drinking sessions at least once every fortnight, my mind is slipping back into an all too familiar self-destructive pattern. So too is my waistline!

A portly and sweaty Andy Jones at 96kg with his beautiful wife, Amy - August 2008

96kg in September 2008 was reduced to 85kg of solid muscle mass by May 2009. A shoulder injury limited me to cardio between October 2009 and December 2009. On November 17 2009 I weighed in at just 80.5kg.

A medium sized Andy Jones at 82kg with his beautiful wife, Amy - Christmas 2009

The last 3 months has resulted in a shocking rebound – a flabby 86.8kg.

It’s time to simplify life, get back to the basics of rest and exercise. My daily diet has included 3 fruit and 6 vegetables for the last 6 months, a direction I wish to continue.

I’m sick of ‘untagging’ myself in FaceBook photos. Sick of getting angry when I’m shaving every morning and noticing my double chin. Sick of making bloody excuses. Most of all, sick of having no self esteem.

It’s time for the metamorphosis. Instead of talking about this shit, it’s time to make some serious changes. I know what works best for me so it’s boot camp for the next 3 months, followed by some proper well-being maintenance until I’m an old geezer and my legs don’t work.

I have an enormous amount of respect for those who live their lives straight edge because booze has always been an issue for me. I guess you can say I’m genetically predisposed to enjoying an ale, larger or wine. But I’m sick of excuses. It’s time for change. That change starts now.

Business cards, letter heads, advertising collateral, uniform clothing, stationery, vinyl prints for company vehicles, digital marketing campaigns and website artwork should all use the same corporate identity and branding.

Inconsistencies make a company / organisation look unprofessional. End of story.

Each year as I grow as a person, I discover more about myself and how to deal with little challenges. The person I have become is a farcry from the socially inept and arrogant little shit I was as a teenager. The biggest surprise is the inherent people skills I never thought I possessed. I am able to use these people skills daily on my job, on the weekend with friends and when meeting new people. My horizons have consistently broadened and I hope this continues on my journey through life.

It’s my wife’s birthday today, and I owe her immensely for her never ending support. I believe we all take for granted the love and support extended by family and must cherish every moment we can spend in their company. Amy comes from a lovely family and the values they have instilled in her are one of her many qualities. Yesterday we celebrated Amy’s birthday in the Swan Valley, surrounded by friends and family.

Whilst celebrating, a relatively insignificant ordeal occurred, no one would have any idea it even happened, but it did. As trivial as the incident was, it highlighted this guilt issue that I experience when sticking up for what I believe in. I’m a straight shooter and a bit of an authoritarian when it comes to rules governing anything from the construction of a website, enforcing team culture or the rules of a game. When people break rules and etiquette to suit their own agenda, I find it hard to understand why a task is even being carried out in the first place. To cheat rules, is to cheat one’s self. Anyone who thinks differently is fucking kidding themselves. Anyways, on this occasion I took the bull by the horns and stood my ground, despite how much of an anally retentive prick I may have portrayed myself to be. What amused me was the usual tactics and mind games employed by people to get what they want out of a situation can be thrown out the door in a nanosecond in order to play the martyr/victim. I won the battle and the war, which was not well received at all… hehehe.

I sit here and type this for therapeutic reasons, performing a dichotomy, attempting to view the situation from the outside and through my own eyes. Given my authoritarian nature of conducting a task by the rules that govern it, I am very good at being objective. I believe this objectivity is the reason for this post topic – feeling the guilt when standing up for myself.

By being objective, I’m effectively experiencing the same annoying discomfort of someone’s shithouse opinion. By being objective I’m experiencing my own shithouse opinion through the eyes of the second party and this is what makes me feel guilty.

I think I need to stop caring what others think, the same way they don’t care what I think! I’ll take a leaf out of Amy’s book, she’s damn quick to dismiss an opinion she doesn’t agree with, and once that’s done, she forgets she heard the words in the first place. Happy Birthday you beautiful girl

The pricing incentive to purchase an OEM version of Windows 7 was just too hard to resist. Another incentive was my expiry of the Release Candidate I installed 6 months ago. I must hand it to Microsoft, Windows 7 is pretty good. However, I never did understand the resentment of Vista. Some people are scared of change, when in reality, the only thing in this world that’s constant is change. The purchase and installation of a 1TB HDD has allowed me to not only install Windows 7, but setup a Linux partition too. Enter Ubuntu; this thing is an absolute breeze to install and configure using Wubi, there’s no excuse to not run a Linux based OS on your computer (unless your constrained to a pissy little 80GB HDD). I have even skinned Ubuntu to look like Leopard OSX! Upon finishing the skinning, I realised that I was using Apple products before the majority of computer users knew what the hell a Mac was.

1987: I was brought up using Apple products, the first computer Dad ever carted home was a 512K ‘Fat Mac’ I played a monochrome version of Dark Castle on:

512K 'Fat Mac' Macintosh

1992: The second being the mighty Mac Classic THAT HAD AN 8MB HDD! I used to play monochrome MacCricket and King’s Bounty on this one, both games used to crash on the old 512K. In its later life, I hacked the hell out of this machine with custom sound themes and even installed a JPG viewer! The images took around 30 seconds to render and were displayed in monochrome of course.

Macintosh Classic

1997: The third actually had a colour screen that I could play Doom II, Rebel Assault II, discover the Internet and unearth Geri Halliwell nude pictures!!!

Macinstosh Performa 5600

In between these fantastic works of art and science, I subjected myself to an old Intellivision, a Commodore 64 with a dodgy SID chip (sold to my parents by my Uncle…), Nintendo gaming consoles, a borrowed 468 and a Pentium 1.

Acquainting myself with an iPhone was a step back in time for me, returning me to my roots of Mac use. I’m getting a bit too nostalgic here for my own good… I digress.

Ubuntu rocks! I have combined my favourite elements of Mac, PC and Linux operating systems in this Ubuntu installation.

• Emulating the OSX dock with Avant Window Navigator.
• Using GNOME-PANEL for ease of menu use at the top of the screen.
• XFCE because its themes are the cleanest Linux themes I have seen, not to mention very lightweight.
• XFCE because of its awesome transparency support and kick arse effects such as 3D windows, window decorations, fading windows, cube gears, Compiz I could go on and on!
• I need to mention, all aspects are completely customisable via the terminal and once installed, have interfaces for you to click checkboxes and install themes, etc.

My only gripe in regards to my new machine is the fact that Windows 7 wont talk to my iPhone because of an Intel P55 chipset issue but apart from that, this new setup is awesome.

I was destined to work with computers… despite getting a D for computing in year 10

My heart swells with pride each day of the year. Whether it be the success of an Australian SME, the toils of a fledgeling sportsman, or the determination and grit of a music group, I love seeing Australians succeed. This brings me to the topic of this blog post, why do we need one day of the year to celebrate? I love my wife and tell her every day. I think it’s stupid that Valentine’s Day has to bring this out in other people. Is it an inferiority complex that makes a husband bring a bunch of flowers home to his wife on Valentines Day or the commercialisation of the event?

I’m stating the bloody obvious here, but I certainly cannot speak on behalf of Australia’s indigenous community. I have no idea how it feels to be an Aboriginal on Australia Day. However, I remember an Australian nation and its people that were proud and self-assured. As an intelligent, albeit slightly precocious 11 year old in the 90s, I remember an Australian nation that didn’t feel the need to prove anything to the rest of the world. We were Australian. Privileged. Proud. Prosperous. We didn’t feel the need to be loud and obnoxious about it. Oh how the times have changed…

All the aggressive patriotism, extravert behaviour, chest puffing and dick swinging that Australia Day now brings has SWEET BUGGER ALL to do with national pride. The last decade saw the rise of this “Fuck Off, We’re Full” / “Australian Way of Life, Fit in or Fuck Off” / “Love it, or Leave it” mentality, which comes blurting out in all its racist and elitist glory on Australia Day. However, it’s only a minority of Australians promoting this mindset. This minority ruins Australia for the rest of us. I’m going to generalise here, this minority are Australiana-clad, drunk, obnoxious, racist buffoons with their peroxided rats tails and cartons of Jim Beam and Jack Daniel’s congregating on the South Perth foreshore starting fights with those who contend or oppose.

I ask myself, “What has caused this?”

Coming back to the inferiority complex of the husband on Valentine’s Day; is it an inherent Australian inferiority complex that makes Australians feel the need to attach flags to their cars? Is it an inferiority complex that makes us feel the need to be loud, drunk and obnoxious on Australia Day? Is it an inferiority complex that spawned the most annoying, mind numbing chant ever created: “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi”?

Or is the issue deeper? Such as a desire to separate our nation from its head of state? A desire to rid the nation of the “convict stain”? A desire to smite the “cultural cringe” Australia’s most successful business, sporting and musical identities escape by relocating overseas? The inferiority complex outlined above breeds every single one of these arguments, you cannot deny that no matter how hard you argue.

I love Australia and would never hold a fellow Australian back from succeeding overseas. The resentment towards Kylie Minogue and the like shits me – they still call Australia home! FFS!

I love Australia and feel that loud, obnoxious, aggressive patriots ruin this beautiful country. Whether your surname is Jones, Briggs, Marshall or Chan, Fiorenza or Doodkorte, we’re all Australian, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

The loud, obnoxious, aggressive patriots need to become aware and comfortable of the fact that Australia is a quiet achieving nation. We’re smaller than the UK, the USA and China to name a few, that’s the bottom line.

Have pride in your nation, and be true to it. Happy Australia Day, and enjoy it for what it is.

Under the Southern Cross I Stand
A sprig of wattle in my hand,
A native of my native land,
Australia you little beauty!

footytips.com.au Fantasy Footy triumph

See you next year, bitches!